Rapping is easy. Anyone can do it. Seriously, anyone can rhyme two words together over a beat. It’s just that simple. What’s difficult is to be good at it and make it seem like it’s more than just rhyming “cat” with “hat.” It’s easy to spot the Jay Zs and 2Pacs of the world and instantly know why we like them. But every so often we get the rappers we love who we know are not good rappers. We’ve compiled a list of the best shitty rappers. It’s our list, so that makes it right, yet not all inclusive.
Mack 10 is the best worst rapper alive. His shittiness is amplified by the fact that he used to rap with two rappers who were significantly better than him. That said, Mack 10 gave us “Foe Life” and several other great tracks. If Mack 10 were in a rap battle we’re fairly certain that he would lose the battle, but win the fist fight afterwards. We guarantee that you’ve never heard a Mack 10 punchline that had you surprised or made you rewind so you could decipher what he said. It’s never happened. Never not once.
If you don’t like Too $hort’s music, you’re probably a feminist and that’s OK. What’s not OK is that in 30 years of rapping he still hasn’t found a word to rhyme with “bitch.”
Just me ridin’ legit, they can’t arrest me or bust me
I’m still hungry, I want some more stuff
Get fat and watch my whole crew blow up
So get yours, and buy my new album
“Baby Got Back” is the only reason why most people know who Sir Mix-A-Lot is. He’s not a good rapper, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he knew how to give the people what they want. He gave us a whole song about ass. Seems so simple now, but in 1992 it was unheard of. We love him for his lesser known follow up “Put Em On The Glass.” Feel free to watch it on silent.
Some people are going to want to lynch us, but just hear us out. If you and your friend are at a karaoke bar and you’ve chosen “It’s Tricky” who gets to be Run and who gets to be DMC? Exactly. DMC is the original Kelly Rowland. He’s OK in a group and you actually might like him, but you’re not a DMC fan, you’re a Run DMC fan. And to be completely honest Run wasn’t the greatest rapper, but he was miles ahead of his homeboy. DMC might be a below average rapper, who we love, but he’s a top notch graphic artist. So he gets props for that.
Dr. Dre’s little brother is a great producer. When it comes to spitting bars, he can do better. A lot better. Warren G likes to spell on tracks. The problem is he’s not good at it. If someone tells us that every time that Warren was rapping on Regulate he was drunk, we’ll take him off this list.
Another producer who was great behind the boards, but not so great on the mic. The Green-Eyed Bandit’s musical ear allowed him a long, prosperous career, but he can’t rap for shit. His speech impediment doesn’t help, either. Listening to Erick Sermon rap alone is a daunting task, but when it’s him and PMD (or him and Redman and Keith Murray) rapping together we love it. “Music” is a great song, but not because of the rap.
If you’ve heard one Ludacris song, you’ve heard them all. Ludacris is the king of formulaic rap. He telegraphs his punch lines from a mile away. If we played you a Luda song you’d never heard you could finish at least 5 lines the first time out. He’s hip hop’s Mad Libs Master. But the music is hot.
Who did we miss? Who are we just wrong about?