The 5 Best Worst Petitions On

Change is inevitable. We are supposed evolve and grow.  But where to start? There are so many things wrong with the world it’s almost impossible to know where to start. Thank God we have is home to thousands upon thousands of petitions that point to things wrong in the world that need to be changed.  We scoured through the site and found these petitions that need your attention and help. Do your part. Help make the world a better place.

Rename all streets, schools, parks and anything else named after Martin Luther King Jr., other African Americans, Hispanics, and any other race.

The title is pretty self explanatory.  Any school, street, park or other public place named after Blacks, Hispanics and “any other race” should be renamed.  Renamed to what you ask? Who knows? The petitions author, Thomas Chetham, doesn’t specifically state stipulations for a new naming convention. He does, however, give some pretty logically reasoning for why all Black people’s names should be stricken from public view: This is the United States of America not Africa.  What can you say to that? Nothing. The truth is the truth. This is not The United States of Africa. He’s got my vote.

Vote Tally: 10 Nascar fans.

Boycott Marvel Comics Until They Stop Pandering to Social Justice Warriors and Penis-envying Feminists

Ah, the penis-envying feminists. Finally, someone is her to stop them! Even if it’s just comic books right now, this is important. You have to start someplace, right?  The petition seems to stem around the recent Marvel Comics decision to replace the old Thor with a new version. A version that happens to be a female. How dare they! Marvel, according to the petition, will transform Thor into a female character “who break people’s jaws for criticizing feminism.” I, too, am against feminist superheroes who beat people up for speaking ill of feminism.  That’s just rude. So, I’m on board.  I’m boycotting Marvel from here on out.  (At least until the Deadpool movie drops.  That trailer was awesome.)

Vote Tally: 401 virgins.

Cancel “Black Jesus” TV Show

Yes! Black Jesus is evil. Who would follow a homeless, hippy who walks around with a bunch of derelicts and preaches being nice to one another. All while taking mind altering substances, and forcing his followers to do the same? Heathens and sinners! That’s who. This Black Jesus show must go.  The best argument against “Black Jesus” comes from one of the commenters who said they signed the petition because “it makes African Americans look bad and makes people think Jesus would act this way.” Exactly! Jesus would never live in Compton. Jerks.

Vote Tally: 11,830 highly favored souls.

Cancel the show “White People”

White people can’t catch a break. Someone’s always trying to make white people feel bad for being born white.  Being born white doesn’t mean you’re privileged.  Everyone has an equal footing and slavery was two centuries ago. Stop the white shaming. That’s the basic premise of the petition, and I can’t say I don’t agree.   White shaming needs to stop. It’s bullshit and as petition signer Matthew Nichols points out, all things like this do are create tension and it “is just splitting the country apart and disgusting.”  MTV should be ashamed of themselves for pandering to the races. Disgusting indeed.

Vote Tally: 25 White people who aren’t racist, because they have a black friend

Record companies and rappers stop degrading and disrespecting black people in your songs. You would never make songs degrading JEWS or GAYS.

The title says it all. And with extra emphasis on “JEWS” and “GAYS.”  The crux of the argument in this petition is that the words nigga and nigger in music are keeping black people from succeeding.  Record companies have rappers as employees and they shouldn’t allow their employees to say disparaging things about an entire race, even if they’re part of that race. Taco Bell wouldn’t let one of their employees go on the record in an official capacity and say bad things about races, so why should record companies?

There is good news for rappers, though.  Most of you have been upgraded, and no one told me. According to the petition “99 percent of rappers are signed” to these companies:  Island Def Jam, Interscope Geffen A&M Records, RCA Records, Virgin EMI Records, Atlantic Records, Young Money President, Cash Money Records and Capitol Music Group.  Petition signer Dexter Smith took time to remind us that C. Dolores Tucker, of infamous 2Pac “motherfucker” name calling fame, warned us.  Point taken. Vote registered.

Vote Tally: 2,883 people listening to Mahalia Jackson 


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