So there you are, living in hot ass India. You live by the airport and you’re just going about your day. Breathing horrible air, washing clothes in a filthy river, drinking water from the same filthy river, working for Time Warner Customer Service, etc. Your life pretty much sucks and you think, “It can’t get any worse.”
But you’re wrong. You’re wrong because you’re about to be shit on in the most imaginative way possible. A former senior army official in India has accused commercial airlines of dumping of human waste by aircraft over residential areas near the Indira Ghandi International Airport.
Retired Lt. Gen. Satwant Singh Dahiya has sought criminal proceedings against commercial airlines and proposed the levying of hefty fines on them for endangering the health of residents.
Airplane lavatories are supposed to store human waste in special tanks. These are normally disposed of by ground crew once the plane lands, but aviation officials acknowledge that lavatory leaks can occur in the air at times. That’s right, it’s known that shit happens.
Dahiya is a resident of Vasant Enclave, which sits in the flight path of aircraft approaching IGI Airport. He claims that for the past week he has “found that walls and floors of terrace of our house splattered with large patches of excreta dumped by aircraft.”flying in front of Palam airport at night. This is the second time this has happened. Last time it had occurred in early October when we had spent Rs 50,000 ($750 USD)to get the entire exterior resurfaced with fresh paint. ”
India’s National Green Council is on the case. Once they saw the name of the individual who made the complaint, they sprung into action and tasked the Central Pollution Control Board (CPCB) with sending a senior environmental engineer to inspect Dahiya’s house and check to see if doo doo butter really was dumped on his house. Should the CPCB find shit, they’re supposed to test it and report their findings to the tribunal.
What a shitty job [pun absolutely intended].