Florida Woman Stabs Fiance Over “Orgy Argument”

Florida is the worst. This is a well established fact. But, were it not for the Sunshine State we would never have awesome stories like this.

Nineteen year old Kelci (the spelling of her name should let you know she’s going to be up to fuck shit) Perkins was arrested and charged with felony aggravated battery after she repeatedly stabbed her fiance in the arm.

According to The Smoking Gun, Kelci with an “i” and her fiance Michael McCabe got drunk and began arguing about “an orgy.” The argument became so heated that Kelci with an “i” punched young Michael in the mouth, this lead to Mr. McCabe punching Kelci with an “i” in the eye. The two then left the house where they were drinking and went home. kelciperkinsmug

Typically, this is where the story would end. But, no, this is Florida. Upon arriving home, at 3AM, the two began to fight again. It was at this point that Kelci with an “i” then picked up a knife and stabbed her fiance in the arm five times.

Ms. Perkins was arrested and booked. She’s still in jail on a $20,000 bond.  A judge has ordered Perkins to have no contact with McCabe, who suffered “superficial wounds.” The complaint doesn’t go into deeper detail about the specifics of the orgy argument, so you’ll just have to use your imagination.

However, the criminal complaint against her does state that the two have “lived together for 3 years.” Normally, this wouldn’t make sense because three years ago she’d  have been 16. But in this case it makes perfect sense, because Florida.

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TJ Smalls
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Reformed nice guy.



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