The NCAA college football season is almost here! Thank God! Enough of this racist and elitist sport called baseball, where the less-than-average shithead can juice-up and be someone. College football is “America’s Past Time.” Fuck baseball.

Enough of that marketing overdosed sport called professional basketball, where the shoes and products endorsed are more important than the team winning. Where MVP are decided by popularity and not stats.( Yes, you, Steph Curry. You didn’t deserve MVP. But at least your mom is hot.) College football is where boys are molded into men!

Enough of soccer. At least for a moment. I’m American, last time I care about soccer was 8th grade P.E. I get that the rest of the world loves it, but let’s stop pretending like Americans care about soccer. I can’t even name ten soccer players. And I like sports.

Enough of it all. Stop the insanity.

Lets get down to the smash mouth sport! The sport where you’re not making millions so you have to put it on the line! The sport where a player is hit in the mouth on every play. The sport where even the coaches and the towel boys get laid by sex crazed women!  Where if you get ran over or de-cleated, you can kiss your NFL chances good bye! No one remember the name of the dude Jadaveon Clowney massacred.

Ah yes, college football. Where the schools break the rules for profits so the schools can get paid, and the scapegoats are the players themselves! Where we live for the next gamebreaker, the team effort comes a close second! The Game of Man vs himself, nature, his opponents, the media and the world! Glorious NCAA College Football, where anything is possible!

This year is the second year of the playoffs and the drama has already begun. Notre Dame is again ranked in the top 25. We all know that it doesn’t matter how good or terrible they are, Notre Dame gets ranked.  It’s the biggest load of bullshit in all of college football.

But today I will review the top teams, based on the Amway Coaches Poll.


TOP 25 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAMS, WEEK 1
RANKTEAMRECORDPOINTS1ST PLACE VOTESPREVCHANGEHI/LOW
1Ohio State14-1159862NR0
2TCU12-114871NR0
3Alabama12-214521NR0
4Baylor11-213650NR0
5Oregon13-212600NR0
6Michigan State11-212300NR0
7Auburn8-511030NR0
8Florida State13-110570NR0
9Georgia10-310260NR0
10USC9-410140NR0
11Notre Dame8-58830NR0
12Clemson10-38380NR0
13LSU8-57270NR0
14UCLA10-36970NR0
15Ole Miss9-46680NR0
16Arizona State10-35770NR0
17Georgia Tech11-35730NR0
18Wisconsin11-34700NR0
19Oklahoma8-54070NR0
20Arkansas7-63770NR0
21Stanford8-53650NR0
22Arizona10-42990NR0
23Missouri11-32290NR0
24Boise State12-21900NR0
25Tennessee7-61660NR0

 

TOP 15 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM ASSESSMENT:

  1. Ohio State: Although they won last year they got away with murder because there schedule was cupcake. This year it’s still cupcake, except they play Michigan State. But because strength of schedule does not count much anymore other wise SEC would always be in the mix. Ohio State should be in good position for the playoffs this year.  No surprise.
  2. TCU: We will see if they are legit and not a one hit wonder. They have experience coming back so that’s a plus!
  3. Alabama: Need we say more? Nick Saban knows his shit. They are always dangerous.
  4. Baylor: This team, like TCU, can prove they belong. Their big issue is that they have a gauntlet at the end of the season. Good luck with two Oklahoma teams back to back.
  5. Oregon: Mariota is gone. This season we’ll get to see how good Oregon really is, and how good Mariota really was. I think they will lose 3 games at least. This might be the beginning of the end for the Ducks.
  6. Michigan State: These guys play Defense. Win or lose, smash mouth is the name of the game!
  7. Auburn: I think people just like Auburn, I think they will tank this year.  They weren’t good last year. They went 8-5 and are 7?  They’re not going to do anything big this year. I could be wrong, but I’m probably not.
  8. Florida State: All these Florida schools have talent, but without “famous Jameis ” will they handle Clemson and Georgia Tech?
  9. Georgia: The Dawgs are some ballers, but they have no QB. So who knows that that will look like.
  10. USC: Yes, another team with talent, but the coaching staff has prevented them from returning to glory. Maybe they can get Pete Carroll back, but he’s doing so well in Seattle we probably will never see him coaching college football again.
  11. Notre Dame: Always ranked even when they suck. They’re college footballs’ favorite child. They have not been the same since they tried removing Lou Holtz. When the last time any ND player was good in the NFL?  Manti Te’o is horrible, even by his own admission. Notre Dame went 8-5 last year, aren’t any better as a team and are still ranked 11.  Bullshit.
    Fuck Notre Dame
    Seriously, fuck Notre Dame.
  12. Clemson: They will be good, but how good is their defense?
  13. LSU: This team is solid.  They’ll need to work on their aerial attack. Their defense is suspect, too.  Their going to need to tighten that up.
  14. UCLA: I do not think they are worthy. This is a team that has Puffy’s and Snoop’s sons on it.  How good can they be?
  15. Ole Miss: Another team thathas a chance to prove itself. I think this will be the last year we hear about them.

    And there you have it. My college football preview. It’s going to be an interesting season, and I don’t think anyone will go undefeated.  But who knows, no one knows what’s going to happy, and that’s the beauty of college football.  The only thing we know for certain is that Notre Dame is going to suck balls.

 

 

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Reformed nice guy.